AntiKiller was a shooter with the best/worst NPC barks ever

From 2010 to 2014 Richard Cobbett wrote Crapshoot, a column on how to roll the dice to bring random obscure games back to light. Today is a Russian shooter who dares to ask the question: “Wait? Antikiller? Isn’t that a healer? Doesn’t sound very cool.

This game has a special reason for being here, although you’ll have to wait a little longer to find out what it is. As for the game itself, your guesses are as good as mine. It’s based on the movie and more or less translated into English, but in such a way that you have little chance of following what’s going on. Luckily, his barking is worse than his bite. Literally. Here’s the intro, which should set everything up for us.

OK. Without knowing the plot of the film, I did my best to understand it. “Antikiller” is the story of Bruce Willis’ bald brother who stumbles upon a sinister plan to unite Don Corleone and Leslie Phillips into a slightly campy mob boss who should be applauded for still trying to make speeches after a tracheotomy. Inspired by video games, he decides to dive into the world of street fighting but is interrupted by everything in the universe being infected with the Rage Virus – except for one guy who’s too busy eating sugar pills, which his genre-savvy dealer called “taste” or something.

The whole story turns out to be an educational movie with the message that if the target gets close enough to your scope to look into your soul, you really are a shitty sniper. Valuable lesson. Or it could be about an ex-cop who gets thrown into jail after being betrayed but is finally released and decides to kick the whole ass. (Reading Wikipedia) Ah. Yes. This is the one. Ho-hmm.

AntiKiller is a hell of a shooter, crafted with all the care and attention of a psychopath bunny house. The first mission, for example, is just a big concrete-filled mass of nothing, with a design that forces you to run down and back through a long series of empty alleyways just to pick up decent weapons, and has at least one dot that just kills. you died.

There’s a guy with a gun at the end, so that might sound fair enough. However, you are not allowed to shoot at him and he just shoots at you without even aiming because you have to go upstairs and run through the building to get to the place. where you can shoot it from a slightly different angle. Is it worth a one-hit kill?

Then there’s the second mission, which is technically called “The Barkassa Club”, but it’s really just a part of town that seems to be right next to some public toilets. Here, you can’t run around at will but are instead locked into a pink border so that enemies whose identities are not explained can run out of nowhere and start brandishing baseball bats.

you kill 34 of them. There is barely enough space to start dancing salsa. And at some point, you might think that they might realize that this is not the best tactic.

Baby, there is optimism and there is idiocy, and here you are not even close to being optimistic.

Besides, since when did Baldhead have… hair? Is this a disguise? Someone else? It would be helpful if the pre-mission cutscenes actually played every time, and not just at will. Is this game just going on for a very long time or is it sponsored by Rogaine? I hope the movie was a little clearer. Things get even more confusing as the missions go by. The next one goes to the supermarket, where two parties we’ve never met are fighting over something that hasn’t been explained.

You’re fighting a million anguish, with another guy who has a health bar, but most of the time he doesn’t bother to fight back. An enemy or just a really shitty ally? It turns out that this is an enemy that is simply immortal until you have to kill him. However, killing him doesn’t kill him, but leads to a scene where some gangsters are about to cut someone up with a buzz saw, but prefer to use an ax instead because… reasons. Probably good reasons. In any case, not one of those about which I would argue with them.

You didn’t return the shopping cart. The punishment is death.

However, a recurring theme is that the cutscenes carry No relation to the next. After killing with an ax, the action moves to an attack on the banker, around whom many people run around and exciting shootouts take place.

However, when it comes into play, it’s just Baldy-No-More, trapped in the open air from beyond the border of evil, in the middle of the city, single-handedly killing 41 people in the face with a Magnum.

Booker DeWitt would have considered this level of violence excessive. also Rambo.

Did I fire six shots or only five? Does not matter. Endless ammo, honey.

To make matters worse, it took three tries to get through it without the enemy being trapped behind the scenery and impossible to target, thanks to that wicked frontier that made it impossible to shoot straight. Nnggggh…

And what happens after that? I have no idea. The next level on the map would light up but do nothing when clicked. I think we can safely assume that there was nothing special about it.

Warehouse. Well, I think I can live without playing it.

But not to mention the game itself. I mentioned at the beginning that I had a specific reason for doing this, and while the shooting is undeniably bad, it’s not… let’s say… Isle of the Dead is bad. Normally I would just play, shrug and delete. Except! AntiKiller has arguably the biggest bark ever.

What are crusts? This is the technical name for those things that the characters shout during the game. Things like “He’s there!” or “Reboot!” or “Fischer! Do you think these jeans make me look fat, FISCHER?” If you have ever played action games, you must have heard a million of them. However, you probably haven’t heard anything better than AntiKiller – mumbling in Russian with subtitles for our convenience. And they are beautiful, especially since this is not even remotely a comedy. Someone thought these were the kind of cool things that gang members and crooks would scream in life or death situations. Ladies. Lord. To prepare for… TOP 10 GREATEST ANTI-KILLER BARS!

10: We’ll kill you now!

9: Hands-on the back of the head!

8: We are immortal! (takes a bullet in the face, dies)

7: If we get killed, we still win!

6: Facedown!

5: Let’s get out of here! Shooting!

4: You will pay for the boy!

3: He has a trunk!

2: I’ll suck your eyes out!

And my absolute favorite…

1: Jiggers! Cops!

The translation fun doesn’t end there. The objective of the mission in the first level is, quote, “Kick the bad guy’s ass. Help the cop.” This policeman is helped when you approach him and, as if nothing had happened, declare: “I killed everyone. Went”. Nice. If only GTA could be so concise.

Oddly enough, none of this helped AntiKiller find an audience outside of Russia. (I have no idea if he found it inside.) As for the movie itself, it currently has a 5.5/10 on IMDB and got a sequel called Antikiller DK, I’m guessing that doesn’t mean Donkey Kong, but on the chaotic evidence of cutscenes in this game, I don’t want to rule anything out. Besides the fact that I bothered to track him down, of course.

PS: No aunties were killed in the making of this Crapshoot.

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